[DCRM-L] DPC: minor wording change to 7A1.1 for clarity

[Manon Theroux]

The DCRM(B) sentence is a carryover from DCRB. I never found it
confusing. But, I guess some do? Responding to Lenore's suggested
wording:

Shouldn't the "which" be a "that"?  I don't have ready access to the
latest Chicago Manual of Style at home, but I was always taught "that"
should be used to introduce a restrictive clause and "which" should be
used to introduce a non-restrictive clause.

Also, I'd maybe split the sentence into two. Something like:

7A1.1. Notes qualify and amplify the formal description. They are
especially appropriate for recording information that the rules may
exclude from the other areas of the description.

-Manon

On Sat, May 21, 2011 at 11:11 AM, Joe A Springer <joeas at goshen.edu> wrote:
> Lenore's version looks like a good one.
> Joe
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Helena Zinkham" <hzin at loc.gov>
> To: "DCRM Revision Group List" <dcrm-l at lib.byu.edu>
> Sent: Saturday, May 21, 2011 9:22:29 AM
> Subject: Re: [DCRM-L] DPC: minor wording change to 7A1.1 for clarity
>
> Thank you, Lenore!  Better words for where I was heading.  -- Helena
>
> ________________________________________
> From: dcrm-l-bounces at lib.byu.edu [dcrm-l-bounces at lib.byu.edu] On Behalf Of Lenore Rouse [rouse at cua.edu]
> Sent: Saturday, May 21, 2011 9:48 AM
> To: DCRM Revision Group List
> Subject: Re: [DCRM-L] DPC: minor wording change to 7A1.1 for clarity
>
>  Erin that's a HUGE improvement I think. I fiddled with it a bit more
> but someone might provide another formulation better balancing
> clarity/brevity. Here's my attempt:
>
> 7A1.1. Notes qualify and amplify the formal description, and are
> especially appropriate for recording that information which the
> rules may exclude from other areas.
>
>
> Lenore
>
> On 5/21/2011 12:34 AM, Erin Blake wrote:
>> It's been a while since the last Discussion of a Proposed Change to DCRM
>> came along, so I hope I remember how to do it. This isn't a big-deal
>> proposal, just a change to clarify a confusing sentence.
>>
>>
>>
>> Current text:
>>
>> 7A1.1. Notes qualify and amplify the formal description, especially when
>> the rules for such description do not allow certain information to be
>> included in the other areas.
>>
>>
>>
>> Proposed revision:
>>
>> 7A1.1. Notes qualify and amplify the formal description, especially when
>> the rules for other areas exclude certain information.
>>
>>
>>
>> Any objections? Improvements?
>>
>>
>>
>> Thanks,
>>
>>
>>
>>     EB.
>>
>>
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------
>>
>> Erin C. Blake, Ph.D.  |  Curator of Art&  Special Collections  |  Folger
>> Shakespeare Library  |  201 E. Capitol St. SE  |  Washington, DC
>> 20003-1004  |  office tel. (202) 675-0323  |  fax:  (202) 675-0328  |
>> eblake at folger.edu  |  www.folger.edu
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
> --
> Lenore M. Rouse
> Curator, Rare Books and Special Collections
> The Catholic University of America
> Room 214, Mullen Library
> 620 Michigan Avenue N.E.
> Washington, D.C. 20064
>
> PHONE: 202 319-5090
> E-MAIL: rouse at cua.edu
>